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They did make a good match, and after a first date at a Santa Monica bar, Afshin said he was surprised by how easy it was to connect with Arezou based on shared cultural background and values, as vetted by their relatives.
“Persian-Jewish women’s mental algorithm might be stronger than, like, dating apps,” Afshin said.
Delijani attributed the roots of khastegari to the centrality of family in Persian-Jewish culture, which makes parental involvement a major factor in shaping their children’s lives.
In its most traditional form, a suitor — the khastegar — and his family visit a young woman’s home to evaluate her family over tea and pastries.
If the families approve of one another, the couple gets their blessings for a first date or even an engagement.
Meeting a potential spouse’s family still factors heavily into the course of Persian dating, as young adults know how big of a role their in-laws will play in their married lives.
In a sense, Persian Jews marry families, not individuals.