The guy did, in fact, have some kind of black girl fetish.
He kept touching my hair without my consent, was legitimately disappointed that I could not twerk, and called me “sassy” whenever I voiced an opinion that was different from his.
Though racial microaggressions are felt by every marginalized group within the dating realm, I am building upon my own personal experiences with heterosexual, cisgender white men to offer suggestions on how to ease racial tensions that may arise in a white man/black woman pairing.
Once, I was at a bar with friends when two white men approached me.
One was a guy who was interested in talking to me, and the other was acting as his wingman.
Contrary to what many white people who find black people more attractive than white people might think, some black people don’t really care. Not only did she love black men, but she could pull in the cream of the chocolate crop, one who had barely aged. He wasn’t a bad-looking guy, but I didn’t think he was any reason to show off to a complete stranger either. She could take that as “Yeah, he’s hot” if she wanted to. By then she’d moved on to new business: the nights she made out with girls.
We’d rather be judged on our individual physical merit, not the physical merit of our race. I was kind of curious, but I was more interested in seeing a throwback photo from the ’90s than in seeing what he looked like in the present day. I wondered if she would think I was self-loathing if I told her I didn’t think he deserved her accolades.
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She had absolutely no ulterior motive and no shot with me. I hate any kind of exclusive or discriminatory thinking when it comes to race and sex, even when it works in my favor. But in reality as well as on TV and in movies, the highest-profile interracial couples have been white women with black men.